I figured I’d start with today (Friday) night and work backward. One of the products of this great nation is Bundaberg Rum. To quote our rainforest tour guide from last year, “It’s like mother’s milk!!” (which I suppose is a good thing in some bizarre sense). .


We had stopped on our way back from the restaurant but not before we saw Brian’s theatre!

Her Majesty's (Brian's) Theatre!

So we went to dinner at this italian restaurant in the theatre area off Flinders called Il Solito Posto. We arrived around 6:15pm and there were a few people seated in the “bistro” section. They asked us if we wanted to sit in the main dining room or eat in the bistro. We decided to eat in the main dining room. They checked on availability since we didn’t have a booking (reservation for you yanks). They said we could be seated but they needed the table back at 7:45pm. An hour and a half? Surely!

Margaret Cho does a bit where she talks about First Lady Laura Bush’s rather cold and sterile personality and she jokes about her .. umm.. well, that she’s so up tight and sterile that she smells like Lysol “down there”. So with that image in mind, now you can imagine our super short haired high cheek-boned waitress (who would probably have some Austin Power’s movie name like “Shagsky Supervitch”) comes over to remind us yet again that we needed to get our yank butts out of the seat by 7:40 (apparently she thought she’d need an extra 5 minutes to clean up after us or something). She went on to say that we probably shouldn’t order something like a steak, particularly if we wanted it well-done (gross thought in and of itself). We later found out that she abbreviated the specials and only told us about the mains, not the starters (because clearly we wouldn’t have time for that either).

Managing to pull us out of this nose dive, we ended up getting passed off to a waiter who looked just like Hagrid from the Harry Potter movies (and with as jolly a disposition as well). So as if the beginning of this experience wasn’t bad enough, the food wasn’t much better. Brian ordered the carpaccio to start and I got the caprese salad. The caprese was actually very good (compared to my main which I’ll tell you about later). But Brian’s carpaccio had little tiny bits of celery. I’m sorry but having crunchy carpaccio is distracting at best and just gross at worst.

So let’s get to the main course. I ordered the risotto with prawns at the suggestion of Hagrid and Brian got the duck. The duck itself turned out to be quite good (although I thought it was a tad salty). The risotto was just a train wreck. How anyone can screw up rice, peas and four stupid prawns is beyond me. It was chalky bordering on crunchy (the rice, not the prawns), so I sent it back. I had the bus boy come to me to explain that it was a “very expensive” rice and that it was going to be a bit more firm. I explained that I was very familiar with risotto (cooked almost the same exact dish for one of the first few dates with Brian) and that rice like that was probably cooked at too high of a heat giving it that “chalky” texture. Well he scampered off… So at this point I’m just starting to laugh because this whole experience was too ridiculous to be anything other than comical.

I told Hagrid (by the way his real name is Steve) about the bus boy and we started joking about Shagsky Supervitch needing something removed from her rear end. He laughed, comped the risotto and gave us both a glass of this amazing Shiraz/Malbec on the house. The risotto that returned to the table was only marginally better in terms of texture but was now way oversalted. I picked out the prawns and laughed off the rest of the dish. We got some good traveling advice from Hagrid, tipped him under the table (but left a minimal tip in the bill so it wouldn’t look suspicious .. hehehe) and ran out to find our Bundaberg.

Before dinner we visited a fun Thai restaurant/bar called Cookie. We sat out on the veranda and enjoyed a couple of good beers. I had this Alpine pale ale that was amazing. This young kid from Melbourne (19 year old) asked if he could have his ciggy out on the deck with us and we obliged. He was a bit tossed but was friendly and funny. He had just interviewed for a “casual” job (that means part-time) working as a telemarketer. He was tired of being a cook. We parted ways and headed off to dinner.

 

Mmmm beer

Earlier that day we were returning from our site seeing when we ran across this guy with this suit. Well what do I say about this suit… Well here.. see for yourself..

 

It ain’t no Prada

In the afternoon we had visited the Royal Botanical Gardens just across the Yarra River. We visited the garfdens in Sydney and frankly these were far more impressive. The sites, sounds and smells were much more sweet. Like Sydney, they had their fair share of wild chickens running around. It was a gorgeous place to enjoy an afternoon snack and a glass of wine.

No trip to Melbourne would have been complete (if you’re Brian anyway) without a visit to the Rob Lever stadium where the Australian Open (tennis) is played. Here are a few shots of Brian living his dream of visiting this amazing place.

 

After winning the match, Brian gives an interview

 

Brian tries to stow away inside Andy Roddick’s Locker

 

Brian has found his way home

1 Comment

• 

  By Melodie, September 8, 2008 @ 12:55 pm

  oh nooo, they’re into the BUNDABURG! This may be the last post to this blog anyone gets!

  You’ve just reminded me that I’ve got about 1/2 bottle of the Liquor stashed away – I got it last year @ the factory, which I believe is the only place they sell it.

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